


Heartbeat

by unholysaint



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Non-Binary Character, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Original Character(s), Other, Peaky Blinders - Freeform, Smut, Touch-Starved Tommy Shelby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:15:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27077890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unholysaint/pseuds/unholysaint
Summary: A close friend of Tom’s gets hurt and he has to reevaluate his feelings for them
Relationships: Tommy Shelby/Original Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	1. White Tiles

**_“Ellis, are you awake?”_ **

They slowly opened their eyes, the early morning sun piercing through the windows that loomed above them. Elli’s head was pounding as they struggled to keep their eyes open. Shiny white tiles surrounded the room, medical stations stood next to the individual hammocks for future patients. The room reeked of cleaner as Elli’s eyes nearly burned out of their sockets because of that light, quickly remembering what had happened the night before. They winced from the pain in their side and their jaw ached as they rubbed it softly. “Fractured ribs and various amounts of bruises and cuts.” Tommy shook his head whilst lighting the cigarette that hung from his lips. 

“Fucking hell… pretty sure I lost a tooth.” Flashing a pained smile at him, Ellis asked, “Can you tell?” Looking back at them with his cold stare he didn't comment. 

Ellis knew Tommy was furious, they could sense the anger almost radiating off of him. He had warned them not to go. _Stay home tonight, get some rest._ The words echoed in Elli’s mind as regret washed over them. They knew they should have listened to him, but some part of Ellis wanted to look for trouble last night. 

“Listen Tommy I-”

“Don’t go to the Garrison. A simple order yet, you couldn't follow it.” Tommy rubbed his eyes in frustration, “I mean fuckin’ hell Elli, now look at you. My best soldier on bed rest because they’re too fuckin’ stubborn.” Ellis leaned back in annoyance. Tommy was always at the Garrison, every night without fail, whether it be conducting business or celebrating, he was always there. 

“Not my fault you were too busy fuckin’ your lastest whore.” They muttered under their breath, sensing Tommy’s glare above them. He scoffed defensively, almost in disbelief and obviously uncomfortable with the fact that it was true. “That's not the point here. You were given a direct o-”

“Oh _fuck_ _off_ with your orders Tom.” Ellis practically spat toward Tommy, “ I just wanted a fuckin’ drink so I went and got me self one. You know the _only_ reason Kimber’s boys were there was because they knew you weren’t.” Elli glared at Tommy, crossing their arms slowly. Tommy stared right back at them, flashes of rage and guilt between each blink. He then put out the cigarette on the stand next to Elli’s bed. 

“Just,” He paused, “Tell me why you went.” They laughed to themselves, looking down at their bruised hands. 

“I’d tell you if I knew.” Tommy scoffed at the response.

“After all these years, you would think that I can tell when you're lying.” Tommy’s hand tousled his raven colored hair, thinking of what to say next. He knew Elli was a target because they were different. 

Being the only member of the Peaky Blinders that was neither man or woman had its downsides, the main one being not taken seriously by most at first. They wore suits, fought alongside the men in the streets of Small Heath and were usually mistaken for a young lad by strangers. Elli was perfectly content with being perceived as neither one or the other and Tommy always ensured that they weren't treated any differently than any other Blinder because of it.

_Somewhere in the middle that one._

They once heard Arthur say, which was true. But sitting in that room of white tile proved something to them that day. Beside the broken ribs and bruises scattered along their body, that was the worst pain they had felt. The wave of realization, that to some people, Ellis would always be seen just as a woman playing dress up. 

As tears began to form, Ellis spoke up. 

“What do you want me to say, Tom? I was drunk and upset.” They paused for a moment trying to pull themselves together, “I mean, where else does one go to drown themselves in whiskey and despair?” As they sat there quietly awaiting his rebuttal, Tommy’s expression softened slightly. 

The two had known each other since they were teenagers and had gotten especially close after Tommy returned from the war. They both had lost friends to the war, so Tom and Elli were there for each other. The two got drunk together, fought together and most importantly, protected each other. Always. The two were practically joined by the hip. No one had witnessed the other side of Tommy after the war, only Elli. A side now only they got to see, the old Tom bleeding through the cold shell. Gentle and even affectionate at times. They saw it in the little things, a stare that lasted a second to long, the occasional brushing of hands or the subtle smile that would occur after a dumb joke. No one had ever looked at Elli like Tommy did. They were attractive, not handsome... more beautiful to Tommy. Anyone who had remotely shown interest in Elli would be quickly threatened by their occupation and especially who they considered family. But for him, they were perfect in every conceivable way. Their hazel eyes with specks of gold that glistened in the sunlight, short curly brown locks that seemed to fall flawlessly onto their face, and their smile drove him absolutely crazy. 

There was always an unspoken thing that hung in the air when the two were alone. A sort of tension, a sense of knowing that they cared for each other. Yet either of them never could act on it, they never got the timing right. Women threw themselves every night at Tommy and Elli never had the chance to experience any type of relationship. Ellis thought they never stood a chance compared to some of the women he had been with so they just drank their sorrows away, like that night at the Garrison. But they wouldn't dare tell Tommy that.

Now the two were here, in an empty room, the familiar tension between them only fueled by rage. Sunlight continued to bathe the large white room, making the. white tiles reflect light back. The beige bandages around Elli’s chest made it difficult for them to move, yet they made an attempt. Sitting up straight, Elli stared down at their arms. Bruised, with fresh cuts scattered along their biceps. Blood slowly seeped through the beige bandages covering Elli’s chest. 

“You find the fuckers who did this?” Ellis asked through gritted teeth. They were furious at the fact that they couldn't fight Kimber’s boys themselves. It just proved Tommy’s point even more and Elli hated it when he was right. 

“Arthur, John and some of the others are keeping an eye out.” 

“Don’t bother cause when I get out of ‘ere,” Elli gestured to the room making heavy contact with Tommy, “I’m finding the fuckers me self.” 

“No you aren’t.” Tommy stated bluntly in his gravelly monotone voice. Ellis’s head snapped back toward Tommy, to only find him unbothered by what he just said to them. 

“You aren’t stopping me Tom-”

“Yes I am.” He spat back at Elli, with a bit more grit. “You aren’t doing anything, you’re staying here until you get better, then after that you’ll go about as usual. I’ll take care of Kimber’s boys.” If they could, Ellis would have walked out just to prove a point. They felt rage surged through them as if someone poured boiling water into their veins. 

“Fuck off Tom, it's _my fight_ . This has _nothing_ to do with you.” 

“Well they made it my fight when they went after you.” Ellis fell silent, their anger melting quickly as they sank slightly into the bed. Tommy seemed preoccupied with thoughts as his jaw flexed. After a couple of moments, he spoke. “If I could, I’d go right now and kill every one of those bastards who did this. You know I would. But, I’m here.” Biting the inside of their lip, they considered just telling him why. Why they nearly drank themselves to death yesterday because of him. Tommy was always very honest with Ellis, they had been through too much together to waste time by hiding things from each other. Clearing their throat once again, they responded.

“I’m sorry Tom. I wasn’t thinkin’ straight.” Tommy sighed slightly as he sat at the edge of their bed. Pinching the bridge of his nose he proceeded to take a fresh cigarette out of the tiny silver tin he carried around. 

“Ellis, you can't just wander the streets black out drunk. Not with Kimber boys lurking around.” He lit the cigarette and inhaled deeply. 

“Like when we were kids?” Tommy’s head tilted, his expression soften once again, thinking about a time before all this. “Yeah.” Shaking the memories away, Tommy stood up from the hammock. 

“I’m not starting a war over you. But I can’t watch over you, so you are going to do this shit, have John accompany you.” Ellis laughed dryly.

“I wouldn't ask you to start anything over me, but come on. John? He’d be drunk before I had even begun. Either way, I’d be fine on my own.” 

“Clearly.” Tommy retorted with a grin, looking at their chest and arms, examining every detail just proving his point. Ellis crossed their arms once more to cover themselves from his icy stare, blushing slightly.

“Come on Tom...” 

“No, listen here. I can’t have this happening again, so from now on, you don't leave anywhere without John or Arthur.” His voice was low per usual, but they knew he was serious. They just couldn’t believe it. 

“How the fuck is that going to solve anything Thomas? I can handle Kimber’s boys just as well as John or Arthur.” 

“Oi, that's a fucking _order_ Ellison.” Thomas’ voice boomed throughout the cold room, causing it to fall deadly silent between the two once more. Tommy held the cigarette tightly between his lips as he adjusted his coat and putting back on his cap. Ellis stared down at the practically glistening white tile, listening to the distant footsteps of doctors and nurses outside. They wanted to run away from the room and cry until they couldn't anymore. Ellis’s thoughts started to spiral out of their control. 

Knowing that there wasn't anything else to be said, Tommy started to walk away slowly, but also knowing he shouldn't leave, not like this. If he was being honest, it pained him to do this to them. _It's for their own good._ He thought if he just kept repeating that, the situation would justify itself. Tommy had always admired them and was always protective. Since he found them basically stealing to survive, eventually taking them in as a Shelby. He cared for them deeply and wouldn't know what to do if something happened. He shook his head slightly, as if to dismiss those thoughts. 

“Sometimes you act just like them.” Ellis didn't dare look at Tommy at this moment, but they knew he had heard them. _Dickhead._ Ellis muttered under their breath. Turning on his heels, Tommy stopped for a brief moment, only then to slowly walk back to them.

_Fuck it._

Throwing what was left of the cigarette onto the white tile, scattering ash everywhere, Tommy started to approach Elli’s bedside once more. They watched as the man walked toward their hammock, with an intent that they couldn't quite figure out. Before they knew it, Tommy towered over them, looking down at them as he took a deep breath in.

“I care for you Elli.” Tommy whispered, his voice was lower than usual. As he moved closer, Elli’s breath became more erratic. They felt their heart almost burst out of their chest. Ellis shut their eyes quickly as Tommy met their level. “You know I do.” Suddenly, they felt a hand place onto their chin. Tommy moved their stare ever so gently toward him. Opening their eyes once again, their hazel eyes met his crystal stare. 

“Just promise me one thing,” His calloused fingers rubbed their chin softly, “Promise me, you won't do anything reckless like this again.” It was barely a whisper, something only for them to hear. The tension between suddenly faded away as the smell of tobacco that came off from Tommy’s lips seemed to fill the space around them. Very hesitant at first, Tom gently placed a subtle kiss on Elli's cheek as they sat completely still. Elli practically melted as they felt their cheeks burn with blush. Tommy gave them that rare yet lovely smile of his as he moved pieces of hair away from their face. 

“Please.” Elli felt their heart almost shatter, there he was. The man that died in the war and never came back home. Tommy’s expression softened as a look of concern overtook him. He couldn’t imagine a world without them neither they him. He felt his lip quiver ever so slightly at the thought of them not being there. As they sat there, bruises and cuts scattered along their skin, it proved something to him. He failed to protect them, this was his fault. Pulling them close, he mumbled something into the nape of their neck. Silently promising himself to never let them out of his sight. As they pulled away from each other, their eyes caught each other once more, but this time was different. Everything was completely changed in a matter of seconds. Maybe the two both had finally become self aware of the years of sensual tension between them in mere seconds. Or perhaps the two were still drunk from the night before. Visibly nervous, Tommy moved closer to Elli once again, but with a different purpose, watching for any minute signs of discomfort.

“Tommy…” Ellis let out in a shaky moan, in disbelief at what was about to happen. They almost became like putty in Tommy's hands. Moving his hand slowly onto their cheek, Ellis mirrored Tommy’s movements, now mere centimeters from each other. The room felt as if it was spinning and yet at the same time, perfectly isolated. 

Unfortunately, that was not the case, when a stern knock was placed upon the wooden door, pulling the two away from this fantasy they were in. Both backed away from the other clumsily like paranoid teenagers. Tommy quickly stood up straight, causing him to bump into the stand next to the bed and Ellis leaning back into their now cold hammock. From the other side of the wall, a soft voice spoke. 

“I’m here to replace your bandages sir. May I come in?”

Frantically lighting another cigarette, Tommy looked down at Ellis just one more time before clearing his throat. 

“Come in.” A nurse made her way to the opposite side of Elli’s bed, taking a new set of bandages from a box. She kept to herself, not making conversation with anyone but the smirk on her face alluded to the idea that she knew what she had just done. Tommy glanced back at Elli, his hand brushing against their arm comforting them slightly and reassuring them this was definitely far from over. Ellis looked up at him and smiled. Tommy smirked back before walking out. As Ellis watched him leave, as they once again had feelings that sat in their chest with no remedy for relief.


	2. Warm Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> contains smut !!

**_two weeks later…_ **

The sun had just started to set whilst Elli sat by the old wooden window. Soft orange light pierced through the usual grey smog that hung low in Small Heath’s streets. Children that were once playing on these gravel roads were now being called inside for supper. Couples walked swiftly down the sidewalk toward their cozy homes, and the occasional horse slowly trotted along pulling a wagon. 

A fire roared beside the window, being the only source of light for that small wooden room they were confined in. Elli moved in discomfort, the beige bandages still embracing their chest tightly. They looked down at their arms, examining the remains of that night. The bruises had almost faded completely and the cuts had scabbed over as well. They could walk at least but nowhere near fighting condition. 

Ellis has been stuck in the Shelbys’ house for a little over a week and needless to say they were becoming anxious. 

They had been released a week after the “almost kiss” with Tommy, and they haven't talked to him since. Only Polly, Ada and Finn had come to visit since then, bringing them things from the outside world (mostly cigarettes and conversation) so that Elli wouldn't get too antsy. Now they were back home, living together with Tommy and his family for the first time in years, because they weren't safe, according to Tommy. The most communication between them both were exchanged glances, or in the one instance where Ellis caught Tommy staring at them in the kitchen. They hadn't spoken about what happened that day, hell they couldn't even look at each other the same, and at this point Elli thought they never would. 

Everyone else in the house proceeded as normal unaware of that day, but the memory was almost a burden to Elli. The feeling was something they could never forget. The fluttering in their chest, his hands against their skin. They were almost desperate to experience that euphoric feeling again, but to them, that would never happen. 

The house was empty that evening, all of the Shelbys and most of the Blinders had gone out for drinks at the Garrison because of some significant winnings at the races. Ellis was still stuck in their room like a child. They could feel how exhausted their body was. Their limbs felt as if they were filled with sand and they got tired more easily yet they could get no rest. 

Since that night at the Garrison, Elli had gotten not a blink of sleep without the help of morphine. They could remember everything, the blokes’ grins, the voices taunting and laughing at them. It haunted them at night, the idea of the Kimber boys finding Ellis and deciding to finish the job. The morphine didn’t help these memories either, it only enhanced the everlasting nightmare they were stuck in each night. Ever since coming back to the Shelby house, Elli has slept with a loaded revolver under their pillow.  _ Just in case _ , they spoke quietly to themselves. 

Moving away from the window that looked over the now dark streets, Elli slowly made their way to the creaky old bed. It was John’s old room, but it would do for now. It was pretty barren, a bed, lavatory and a fireplace. As they made their way to the bed, Elli winced in pain. The bandages made it difficult for them to move and yet Ellis found comfort in them at times. 

Sitting by their pillow, Elli took out the gun from under and held it tightly. The familiar weight felt right in their hands, as they started to spin the chamber out of boredom. Counting the bullets Elli became almost hypnotised by it.  _ Six bullets for the sick bastards.  _

The clicking of the spinning chamber filled the room as Elli’s mind wandered off. The memories of that night, being ignored by Tommy, not being taken seriously anymore had taken its toll on them.  _ Maybe I should use one for myself.  _ They disregarded the idea, entertaining it only for a moment. 

The fire had already started to die out, but Ellis was in too much pain to bother. They just sat in the dimly lit room thinking of how all of this pain could disappear with one pull of a trigger. Suddenly, the door that led to the rest of the world creaked open. Time seemed to slow down as in one swift motion Elli pulled the hammer back, pointed the revolver at the door and awaited the uninvited guest. Elli’s breath became shaky and their heart pounded against their fractured ribs, but their hands were always steady. A face emerged from the doorway, it's features highlighted by the dwindling flames and pale moonlight. 

It was Tommy. 

He walked in as if trying not to wake anyone up. Closing the door behind him, he locked eyes with Ellis, visibly tensing up. Elli seemed to be stuck, their body paralyzed with fear. Slowly, Tommy took a cigarette from his jacket and lit it. Leaning onto the wall, he spoke.

“Well? Are you going to shoot me?” Ellis took a moment only to finally shake their head no, placing the gun down onto the nightstand. Tommy deeply inhaled the tobacco, almost in relief. Elli cleared their throat, not knowing what to do.

“What are you doing here Tom?” The man took a long drag from his cigarette before answering. 

“Checking up on you, that's all.” Tommy heard Elli chuckle to themselves at his answer. 

“I didn't know we were on speaking terms.” 

The man just stood before them, smoking by the door whilst the moonlight bathing the room highlighted his features.

“Why aren't you out celebratin’ with the others?” Tommy shrugged slightly walking toward the fireplace.

“I didn’t feel like celebrating.” Ellis audibly scoffed at Tommy’s remark.

“Whiskey, drugs, and women. What more can one ask for?” They asked sarcastically, making Tommy grin for a second. 

Tommy didn't respond, instead he moved a piece of new wood onto the embers and threw his cigarette onto it. Ellis became nervous, a feeling of concern washed over them, becoming cautious of his true intentions for being here.Tommy made his way to the bed looking at the tired Elli that sat before him. 

“May I sit?” Ellis nodded nervously, watching his every move. Tommy took off his jacket, leaving him in his vest and button up. He sat closer this time compared to that day in the hospital. Ellis felt over exposed, just sitting in their clean bandages that covered their small chest and long johns. Tommy was obviously making a move and Ellis just sat there. Any other day they would have kissed Tommy then and there but something was off. He could sense this, leaning back giving them space. Ellis bit their lip, “Should we talk about what happened?” 

“Yes.” He stated bluntly.Tommy moved closer as he asked, “But do you?” Ellis looked at Tommy’s lustful stare, giving in just a little.  _ He had to be drunk.  _ The thought caused Ellis to chuckle softly.

“You're drunk Tom.” They wanted that to be true. He moved closer to them, shoulders brushing against each other occasionally. 

“I’m here of my own choosing.”  _ Fuck.  _ Ellis's chest filled with anxiety once again, biting their lip before speaking.

“And what exactly are you doing here Tom?” The question threw off Tommy, only for a moment. 

“I wanted to be with you.” Elli’s ears perked up at this statement, listening intently to his voice as his cleared his throat. “Always have.” Their hazel eyes met his, trying to find any sign of deception. Elli sat next to the man, wondering what to say next. A part of them assumed he was kidding, but they knew Tommy. He doesn’t joke. Especially about the people he cares about. 

“I’m not like the women you’ve been with, Tom. I’m me.” He places a hand onto their check, instantly reassuring them. His lust started to fade for a moment, turning into compassion as his thumb traced against their cheek, comforting them while they leaned into his hand. 

“I know.”

The fire crackled behind Tommy filling the small room with its soft ambiance. Ellis looked up at him. Leaning in, Tom shut his eyes and Elli did the same. Ellis’s heart almost leapt out of their chest but they kept their composure for this one perfect moment. Pulling them in, the kiss was gentle. Tommy’s pink lips moved against Elli’s softly as his hands held their face. Ellis sat still kissing him back, one of their hands moving along his thigh, whilst Tommy wrapped his arm around their body and pulled them in. Years of tension and want released in this moment. Ellis wrapped their arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. The two almost got lost in each other, quickly losing track of time and eventually, forgetting everything else. At first it was gentle but sure enough Tommy wanted more. 

He made sure to stop, just for a moment, looking at them to make sure they were okay. Leaning against each other's foreheads, Ellis smiled weakly whilst Tommy’s thumb rubbed their bottom lip.

Before they could say anything, he gave them a mischievous look and proceeded to scatter kisses along Ellis’s neck and jawline. 

Elli wanted this more than anything, to finally be with Tommy, but something didn't sit right with them. He continued to attack their neck, causing them to moan softly. But Ellis couldn't do it. They put their hand on Tom’s chest and shaking their head. 

“Did I hurt you?” He looked into their hazel eyes with concern. 

“Tommy I don’t think I can do this.” He was taken aback, almost seeming defeated. Tom thought he had done something wrong instantly trying to justify himself.

“If this is about how you being, well  _ you,  _ honestly Elli I couldn't care les-” They shook their head in protest. 

“It's not that Tom.” Tears pricked Ellis’s eyes when they realized what was wrong. Insecurity. Elli has heard the stories, sometimes even being a witness to what Tommy had done. He had a habit to fuck whoever he wanted and whoever would let him. Most of the time he would just use them for his own benefit, quickly forgetting them moving onto the next. And that fear of ending up like those women would always linger in the back of Elli’s mind if they didn't address it now. 

Fiddling with their fingers, “Am I going to be just one of them?” they whispered out of fear of what his answer would be. Taking a deep breath they continued, “I wouldn't survive that heartbreak Tommy,” A tear rolled down their cheek as they spoke, “I care for you too much, you know? And just to be another whore that you’ll forget about before the night’s done, I wouldn't survive it.” Even the thought of Tommy leaving hurt Elli. The two sat in an uncomfortable silence, the room was filled with that familiar tension once again. 

And for the first time in a long while, Tommy was speechless. He didn't know what to say to them. Obviously he cared for them deeply but he was never the best at expressing his feelings. 

“I would  _ never  _ do anything to hurt you.” Still looking down at their hands, Elli smirked. Tommy grabbed their chin gazing into their eyes. Moving his thumbs, he wiped away their tears. He scattered kisses along their cheeks softly, eventually placing one lightly among their lips. And for a moment, they sat there perfectly still and everything suddenly was okay. He held them close as their hand moved onto Tommy’s. 

“ _ Ever.”  _ His accent was thick and his voice was reassuring. For a couple of moments, the two just looked at each other, sitting in the silence. 

Ellis took this moment to admire Tommy’s beauty. Icy blue eyes, raven hair to perfectly contrast his pale skin and cheekbones that could cut one’s skin if not cautious. The soft yellow light admitting from the fireplace highlighted these features, causing Elli to fall more in love with him.  _ He has feelings for me. _ Ellis smiled at the thought, repeating the phrase in their mind. A burst of confidence and adrenaline shot through their body like lightning. Acting quickly on this impulse, Elli dove toward Tommy, pulling him in for a kiss. Caught off guard Tommy sat still, accepting it quickly. Pulling back, Ellis smiled at Tommy. He looked into their eyes almost hungrily. Without warning, he pressed his lips against Ellis’s. Slowly they both moved their lips, deepening the kiss. as he moved his hands around Elli’s waist as they climbed on top of Tom. 

The two both relaxed into the kiss, most intense, unlike their first one. Both became more anxious with each other, frantically exploring the other’s body. Tommy’s hands moved up and down against Elli’s bare skin being careful not to hurt them. Tugging slightly on his hair, Elli started to softly grind their hips on Tommy’s groin, causing him to let out a shaky breath almost on the verge of moaning. 

Ellis didn't stop moving as they broke the kiss for a brief moment, their shaky hands moving slowly up toward Tommy’s collar, undoing the first button in one fluid motion. Elli kissed along Tom’s jawline as they continued unbuttoned his shirt. The two separated briefly as Tom threw his shirt somewhere behind him, giving his undivided attention to Elli. They grabbed his wrists, pinning him to the creaky bed. Tom chuckled at them, almost growling toward the end of it. Elli kissed up his torso, along his jawline and eventually met his desperate lips. Given the position they were in, this kiss was different. Loosening their grip on one of wrists, it allowed Tommy to cup Elli’s face, pulling them closer to him. His arm snaked around their waist, bringing them down to the bed. They both kissed each other with a thirst that couldn't be quenched. Before Elli knew it, Tommy loomed above them, nipping at sensitive spots at their neck. They were left panting as Tom removed their trousers, kicking them to the side. Ellis suddenly became nervous, as if their mind had suddenly caught up with their lust. Tommy, now only in his boxers, was once again above them. He began to kiss their collarbone, moving down at achingly slow pace. Meeting the hem of their long johns, Ellis stopped him. 

“Tommy…” He met their eyes once again with concern. “I’ve never… done this before.” Tommy stopped, climbing back up toward them, brushing their face ever so gently, pushing aside rogue strands of hair. 

“Ever?” Elli shook their head no, slightly embarrassed. Tom held their chin with index finger and thumb, trying to reassure them. 

“I’ll be careful love. Do you trust me?” Elli stared his eyes, nodding yes. He gave them a kiss, proceeding down their body. They shut their eyes only for a moment, trying to calm themselves down. Focusing on the tiniest details, before they felt Tommy tug at their waistband once again. He pulled them slowly, causing Elli to cross their legs. Tugging them off completely, Tommy stared at their heat in between their thighs intently. Positioning himself between them, Tommy’s hands rubbed along their legs. 

“Come on love, let me have a peak.” Ellis felt their face flush and could feel the warmth radiating off their cheeks. Giving in slightly, Elli opened up to Tommy. He grinned at the sight of them, as he began to kiss their warm inner thighs, drawing his tongue occasionally along their smooth skin. With each kiss, he got closer to them. Elli whimpered at his actions which made Tommy smirk deviously to himself.. His tongue met them, he licked a stripe from the bottom of their slit to the very end of their sensitive bud that sat on top. Elli involuntary let out a guttural moan but silenced themselves quickly. “I’ll have none of that darling, I need to hear you.” Attacking them once again, Ellis moaned once again softer this time. “There you go love.” Tommy repeated his movements at an agonizingly slow pace and before he knew it, Elli was a panting mess. They felt as their muscles tensed up more with every second past, sensitive to the slightest touch. Ellis tried keeping still but jolts of pleasure caused their nerves to twitch. They were approaching their end quicker than expected, moaning louder than before. 

“T-Tom, I think I’m-” Ellis gasped as the gangster slid a finger of his with ease into them. Their hands reached for comfort, passing through his ink colored hair. Moving back up toward them, he kissed along their collarbone while slowly moving his digit inside of them. Curling it upwards, Ellis cried out softly next to his ear, wrapping their arms around his wide shoulders. Tommy kissed their jawline slowly making his way to their lips once again. With a sudden brush against their bud, Ellis was pushed over the edge. Their body stiffened as their breath was taken from them. Tommy continued to kiss their neck, slowly working them through their high. As their body relaxed once again, Elli felt dazed as they started to reach for Tommy’s boxers. Pulling away to meet their eyes, Tommy grinned. He removed his finger out of them slowly causing Ellis to whimper. 

Standing up from the creaky bed, the man took his undergarments off revealing himself to Elli. Their eyes widened at the sight, excitement coasted through their veins as he climbed back into bed. He held their chin as he placed a kiss upon their lips while aligning himself with them. Ellis’s heart raced silently beneath their bandages as they laid beneath Tommy. Their mind was still foggy from before but they wanted more. 

Tommy looked into their eyes. 

“You okay?” Elli smiled before kissing him. Tommy pushed himself into them slowly, causing them to pull away from the kiss, crying out. It was a foreign feeling, something borderline intrusive. Ellis held onto Tommy’s hair, wrapping their legs around his waist. He continued to cautiously push in, watching for any signs of extreme discomfort in Ellis’s eyes. 

“Tommy, it h-hurts.” They cried out in stifled breaths, trying to get used to this feeling as quickly as possible. He placed kisses along their jawline trying to work them through the pain. Their walls were forced to stretch around him, stinging yet oddly satisfying simultaneously. He whispered gently, comforting them as he struggled to hold back his own lust. Ellis could tell he was on the verge of ignoring his concern, but he held it together for them. “I- I think I’m okay Tom.” He looked at them surprised almost, but they flashed him a smile of reassurance.

“Tell me to stop if it becomes too much.” They nodded, taking a deep breath in as he started to move. Steadily at first, Tom struggled to find a rhythm that satisfied the both of them. Elli whimpered at the slightest movement, holding back their moans. They felt heat slowly building up once again as Tommy proceeded to thrust faster into them. His head was cradled between Ellis’ neck and shoulder, their arms wrapped around his head panting next to his ear. Elli held their legs closely by his waist. They could tell Tommy was holding back, they could see it in his face and hear it in his voice. 

“Harder Thomas.” Ellis whispered softly into his ears causing him to stop for a brief moment, looking back up at them. 

“Are you sure?” Genuine concern took Tom as he awaited for an answer. Tugging him down to them by his hair, they moaned slowly and quietly.

“Please.” He smiled at their newfound confidence, placing his hand around their neck snuggly, before picking up his place. Gasping, Ellis winced at every thrust but couldn’t help but to enjoy it. Tommy panted heavily as he quickened his pace, applying pressure to Elli’s bud. Their body felt lightless as they felt a second wave going to crash into them. Their body convulsed under him as they felt their walls squeeze tightly one again. Ellis tried holding on to something, anything to keep steady as Tom continued to thrust into them seemingly without a care. He groaned deeply as they tightened around him, encouraging him to give them all he had. Elli clawed at the hand around their throat, trying to pull the man down to them. Tommy continued to push the limits, causing Ellis’s moans to become unhinged. Wrapping his hand around their neck tighter than before, he moaned loudly out of frustration before stopping abruptly. He panted heavily, as Elli stared at him confused and slightly out of breath. “What’s wrong?” 

He met their eyes once again, moving away from them for a moment. Tom held his hand out, helping Elli sit up. Guiding them to move above him, he held onto their hips firmly before looking back at them. Ellis knew they trusted him, so they followed his direction, slowly sitting in his lap, pushing themselves onto him once again. He let out a groan, as he held them steady, his arms wrapped around their back. He kissed along their collarbones, the trail eventually meeting their lips once again. Ellis whimpered as they moved around him, feeling as if they were floating. Their thighs twitched with each movement, causing them to buckle down onto his lap. Pulling away from the kiss, Tommy began tugging on their earlobe with his teeth as he moaned softly. Ellis smirked, roaring their hips every so slowly as they squeezed against him. 

“I’m close Elli.” He held onto their back tighter than before, his hips began moving erratically, begging for more friction. They bounced slightly trying to help him along, as he did the same for them by placing his hand between their legs. “Come for me darling.” Ellis’ breathing became shallow as they felt their legs stiffen, and their walls tighten as another wave of euphoria rushed into them. Tommy moaned loudly, putting his head in between their shoulder and neck as he moved his hips while he released. They felt a strange warmth enter them as they cried out in pleasure. Panting against each other with heavy chests, Tommy looked at the limp body he held and smiled as he wiped away the strand hairs stuck to their forehead. Kissing along their neck, he whispered softly, trying to comfort them. 

Ellis leaned back as he kissed along their neck, panting heavily trying to catch their breath. 

**_the next morning_ **

Sunlight filled the room as Elli opened their eyes slowly. Birds chirping outside and people had already started to walk the gravel streets of Watery Lane. Smiling instantly at memories of what had happened last night, they instinctively rubbed their legs against each other slightly. They were a bit sore but for Ellis, it was completely worth it. A thin sheet covered the two of them, Tommy’s arm wrapped around Elli’s naked waist. They didn't want to wake Tommy, honestly a part of them hoped it could stay like this forever. Looking up at Tom, he looked peaceful and that made Elli’s heart soar with happiness. Sighing deeply, Ellis rested their head on his chest, listening closely to his heartbeat. 

After what had happened, Elli’s ribs were in immense pain, but they didn't care. For once, they were truly happy. They laid there, next to the possible love of their life, the only man Ellis ever knew. 

“Morning.” Tommy grumbled quietly as he tightened his grip on Ellis’s shoulder, pulling them close to his chest.

“Hi.” They smiled up at him, placing their hand against his warm cheek and giving him a kiss along his jawline. 

Smiling slightly, Tommy kept his eyes shut. Hugging them, he finally made eye contact with their hazel eyes.

“Are you okay?” Nodding yes, Elli placed a soft kiss upon Tommy’s lips. Before they could pull away, Tom pulled them in, not wanting to let go. Once Elli was finally released they whispered, 

“Perfect.” 

And for a moment, that one blissful moment… everything was okay. The two leaned against each other, almost not believing any of this was real. 

Tommy hadn't felt like this since his life before the war, and Elli…. well they had never experienced this part of life before. 

Love. 

Even after all that had happened in the past day, a part of Elli still couldn't believe it was real. Everything they had imagined was now their reality. In the back of Elli’s mind, they suspected that this was an elaborate hallucination given to them by the morphine. 

As the two lied together, Tommy broke the silence.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that.” Ellis smiled against his chest, tracing along the tattoo on Tommy’s chest with their index finger. 

“That makes two of us then.” They heard him chuckle, as he placed his hand on top of theirs. They couldn’t help but think, what happens now. Tommy couldn’t care less of what others thought of him, but it’s all Ellis could think of. That feeling made itself known again, sinking their heart to their stomach, twisting with the thought of what could happen to them. Elli held onto him a little tighter to ground themselves, but nothing seemed to work. He took notice of this, facing them quickly to see what was wrong 

“Breathe Elli. You’re okay.” 

They shook their head, sitting up quickly ignoring the burning pain in their sides. 

“No it’s not okay. What about the others Thomas? What if someone finds out about us and they say something and it could just ruin ever- '' 

Quickly stopping them in their train of thought, Tommy began shushing them quietly as he pulled them down against his chest wrapping around their frame gently. Before they could speak again, he whispered softly to them.

“I will keep you safe. I promise you, this will never happen to you again.” Ellis’ breathing slowed as they listened to his promise, his voice comforting them. 

Taking their hand in his, Tom kissed the top of it ever so gently before rubbing their skin with his thumb.

“I just need  _ you _ .” 


End file.
